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| City Center, Madrid |
For the last month, people keep asking me “How was Spain!?” “How
was Spain!?” My answer is always:
Magical.
It was magical.
If you don’t know, I just spent two months in Spain. If you
don’t know why I went to Spain, here it is in a nutshell. When I was very young
(9, 10), I caught the travel bug. I have been sick with this bug all of my
life. I would go to the library at school and always look at the foreign
language books. I checked out the French ones and studied and studied them,
because my love for foreign country and language had already incubated and
hatched. My family, bless them, never
had the finances to travel, so I grew up without seeing much of the world. When
I turned 18, I started to travel around the USA a bit (The West coast and East
coast) and this only made my longing to hop over the pond grow stronger.
Last March, I was sitting in my apartment, looking up
foreign travel online, when it suddenly dawned on me that I am going to be 23
(When I tell older people this part, they always chuckle like I don’t know what
I am talking about). But that’s just it. I am going to be 23. Like a lot of
people, I have this “life plan” to have my first child when I am 28. 5 years.
That gives me 5 years to see the whole world. Ok, I know, a bit dramatic.
I had an internal panic attack when I realized that if I
wanted to travel, I just needed to do it. So, all of these options were running
through my head. I am not rich by any means, and I have an apartment, car,
phone, etc. here that I need to pay for. I needed to find something that paid.
Being an au pair.
An au pair is pretty much a live-in nanny. You help a family
in another country with day to day life in exchange for free room and board and
a small stipend every week. This was exactly the thing I was looking for as I
was a nanny back home already. (I will write another blog soon about being an
au pair)
So, I found a family that I had this really great gut
feeling about (seriously, always trust your gut), and I bought my tickets to go
to Spain for two sunny months and help teach their children English.
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| Beautiful Spain, Extremadura Region. |
I was so nervous when I got on the plane to NYC. I was going
to a foreign country, alone, where I don’t speak the language, to live for two
months with people I had never met. Ok, I am crazy. 20 hours later, I stepped
out of the airport in Madrid and my adventure was beginning.
The first couple weeks were really difficult because their
sleeping and eating schedule is way different than here. I am the average
American when it comes to eat and sleep (Eat eggs, toast, some fruit or
something in the morning, a snack like a granola bar, have a light lunch (a sandwich
and some chips), have another snack,
crackers or something, then have a dinner of pasta, soup, potatoes, something
like that- go to bed around 11, maybe 12, then wake around 8 or 9 and start
again). Small meals with lots of snacking.
I went to Spain during their Holiday, so their schedule was
crazy! Wake up around 10 or 11 and have a piece of toast, if anything at all,
don’t eat anything else until sometime between 2 and 4, when you will eat a
lot! Their lunch is like a huge dinner! Then, take a nap! After that, don’t eat
again until sometime between 10 and midnight (keep in mind this is a holiday
schedule that my family had and isn’t necessarily the same for everyone on
Holiday, but it will be similar for all families), another huge meal, then, stay up until
sometime between 2 and four, then do it all over again.
It was really hard to get used to it, honestly, but after 3
weeks or so, my body was adjusted completely (which is about how much time it
took me to readjust when I got home too).
So. Spain. Magical.
Go to Spain.
The people there are so hospitable and friendly. In Spain,
instead of shaking hands or hugging, you kiss each other’s cheeks. People
usually think of this as a French thing, but it is in Spain too. The people in
Spain are so much more intimate, and way more honest. It is beyond refreshing. Every
person you meet is your friend from the start (unless you bump into them on the
street… people bump into each other every which way and just look mad!).
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| There is me on the far right, and friends I made on the left. Watching the sunset in Madrid! |
I miss this about Spain. Here, in America, in general, we
are so closed off from each other and from strangers. Sure, we make small talk
with everybody (the cashier, the waitress, the person in line behind us), but
that’s all on the surface. We live our own lives and don’t include the world in
it. I stepped back from the USA and got an interesting perspective of it. I
could finally relate the USA to
something. I had never been able to compare it to another country, because I
had never lived in another country, or even been outside of my own. We are
lacking something, socially, in America. Spain has this special magic, where
friends are made and you feel connected to other people in the world. It isn’t “Me
against the world.” It is “Me and the world. Me and my world, your world, our
world. This world belongs to me, and I to it, and we to each other.” Family,
friends, strangers, together.
I think it has something to do with alone time. In the USA,
I spend large parts of the day alone. This just doesn’t happen in Spain. The
only alone time I got was when I was sleeping or showering. You are constantly
socializing. And we, as everybody knows, are social animals. We need society.
We need conversation. We need a lot of it, and in Spain, you get a lot of it.
There is no time to sit alone and let your mind go to terrible places, let it
worry, let it marinate in anger or grief. You are with other people, constantly
lifting them up, and them lifting you up.
I found this in France too. I went to Paris for one week and
saw the exact same structure there. You are with people, always.
Then I thought about this documentary I watched before I
left for Europe about monkeys and grief. The monkeys were always together. If a
monkey wanted to be alone, it was really strange behavior. And that’s it. That’s
us. We have somehow turned into a society where we are the weird monkey who
wants to be alone (maybe it stems from the Puritan era, where it was important
to be reserved and with God only, always). We cherish our private time. After
two months of being with people, all day, every day, I dreaded being alone
again. I spend large parts of my day alone, as my boyfriend works and my hours
are different than his usually.
Maybe that is why the most common complaint I hear from my
fellow Americans is “I feel lonely.”
Of course you feel lonely. Of course we are lonely.
I think that is also why Americans are glued to their
phones, social media, and texting. We are craving each other’s company so
badly, but are disjointed because we were raised in a society where we spend a
lot of time alone (ok, bear with me, I am not a sociologist or anthropologist.
This is all observation and opinion).
We need each other so deeply.
We are in constant contact with friends on our phones, but
it isn’t the same. You press the send button on your Iphone and you are alone
again.
One of the most important things I learned in Spain was
about my own culture. I grew up adoring other countries because they had such
obvious culture and history. They were old, rich in experience, sturdy in a way
of life. Where is our culture? I don’t feel connected to anything old. Kings,
queens, nothing. I am this American who has no idea what country my long lost
relatives originated from. My family line doesn’t come from one place.
But, in Spain, looking at the USA from afar, from another
culture, I found my culture. It hit me in the face. Everybody I talked to “Oh!
You are from America! Wow! I LOVE American culture! I want to go to the USA so
badly!” “I think it is so neat that you have ancestors from all over the world.
A descendant of those with a traveler’s heart.” “Your ancestors were brave!” “I
love your accent!” “Tell me about America.” “What is the difference between
grilled cheese and mac n cheese? Is
there a difference?” (Ok, that question came from just one person, but I loved
it).
I am a descendant of those with traveler’s hearts.
And we are connected to the world. Sure, we are that weird
monkey that wants to be alone, and is still figuring out how to make it work,
but we are connected to the world. Just as I wanted to go to Spain, or France,
people want to come here. And just as
Spain is a culture rich in social gatherings and food (I think we could learn
something from this), we are a culture rich too.
I think that everybody needs to go abroad and for an extended
period of time if possible. You gain perspective, experience, more knowledge,
and, it is true, you learn a lot about yourself along the way.
If you want to make it happen, you can make it happen.
Anything can happen.
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| Cadiz, Spain |
(more blogs about specific cities in Spain, food, and more
to come. If you are interested in going abroad and want to make it happen,
contact me. I would love to help someone achieve this! I don’t have any money
to give, but I have lots of advice and guidance!)
